Sunday, May 30, Regrets

This one hits me right at home. I really struggle with regrets about my bad decisions and rebelliousness in the past. The devo talks about forgiving myself and feeling that I don't deserve to be forgiven. Personally, it has taken professional counseling to help me get past this problem, and I have found that daily devotions, reading the Word, spending time in communication with God, has helped me understand his forgiveness. If God can forgive the people in the Bible he has given us as examples, then I know He wants to and will forgive me. I have to make a mental choice to believe. I have to forgive myself and others and leave the past in God's hands. The scripture says, He will redeem the past if I put it in His care. What a great God we serve. Thank you Jesus.

Saturday, May 29

Up and to the lake by 630am. Fished below the dam on the East side. Nothing. 2 gates open. Went to the horseshoe bend up by Osage plains. nothing. Went to the rocks by the Osage plains boat ramp. Caught some small channel cats and a drum I cut up for bait. Went back to the West side below the dam. Only one gate open now. Cut bait hit the water and I had a blue cat of about 2 lbs. Fished a while longer and caught another one. Had fun. Used the cat rod Mike loaned me. Nice rig. Sure can tell a difference between it and a cheap one. Fished until around noon. gave the two cats to a young couple there to add to their stringer. Saw quite a few people catching catfish. Went home, took a shower and Terri fixed BTP (Bacon Tomato Pickles) for lunch. Great for such a hot day. Pool looks good. We rested most of the afternoon, then to get Terri's Mom and take flowers to the cemetery for Poppy, his parents and his mother. Got that done and Mike and Ranelle were back from the lake. Visited for a while, then had chicken and noodles, salad and baked beans for supper. Oh yum. Allyson called and they were off the lake and headed home. Wanted Terri to grill hamburgers while they swam, but didn't realize how late in the day it was. Pool is just a tad cool yet. They decided to order pizza and just hang out at Nathan's. Watched TV and to bed.

Saturday, May 29, Forgiveness

I am constantly amazed at God's forgiveness. It is a concept not easily grasped by my mind. It is easier to understand when I need to forgive someone. Over the past few years, I have had to focus on forgiveness of others. A hurt is hard to let go of. If I forgive and let go of the hurt, then I have given in to them and Satan tells me I have lost the battle and they have won. God tells me to let it go, Forgive unconditionally, and leave the results to Him. When I have let it go and worked on forgiveness, my mental state is so much better. My sins cannot be forgotten, but God has promised to not remember them against me. Hurts cannot be forgotten, but God can help me remember them less and less through His plan of forgiveness.

Friday, May 28

Nothing unusual today. Hot though. Got tag for Mariner and ate lunch at home. Planned on going to Tulsa to look at a pontoon, but he called and had just sold it. Bummer. Took Terri and Allyson to Outlaws for supper, then went to the lake with Mike. Caught 4 keepers. Well, Mike did anyway. I caught one dink. Good evening. Lake was was smooth and it was hot but a nice evening. Home to rest and to bed.

Friday, May 28, Memories

From what I understand our mind remembers everything we see, say and do. Rather an awesome thing when I consider my almost 60 years of memories. Why is it that the ones I don't want to remember seem to be the easiest to recall. I have let memories from the past dictate how I was reacting to others and it cost me dearly. Good and bad memories should help me to make better decisions today. They should be used as a reference for today's experiences. God can use these for direction in my life. I try to turn them all over to Him. Only God can redeem the past and turn it into good for today. It is so important for me to communicate with Him daily so I can open my mind to His direction for today. The more good memories I can create, the stronger I become in Him.

Thursday, May 27

Busy again. Guess it will be the rest of the year. I like it though. Picked Terri up for lunch and took her to Taco Village. Worked on tickets, old equipment, etc. Picked Terri up from the SRV, took her to Colonial for a few minutes and then to get the boy. He, Nana and Papa took the cover off the pool. Water is pretty warm. He put his suit and water wings on and sat on the steps but was afraid to hold onto the edge and kick. Will be better when we are in it with him I am sure. Ate supper and then to Mema's. TC picked Mike up and they went to Copan. We took water to Allyson and Nathan at the ball fields. Saw Allyson get a walk, then Nathan hit an in field home run with the bases loaded and that ended their game. Took the boy home, and us to home to rest and to bed. Still waiting for pontoon owner to contact us. Sounds too good to be true for sure. 2006 with warranty for $4800. Doubt it is a real deal. Hope the one in Bixby is still available. Waiting for him to call me back so we can go see it this evening. Ranelle coming up Saturday so we get to meet her.

Thursday, May 27, Past

While my past has a lot of good in it, there is much that I must use as lessons to apply to my life today. More discipline and more reliance on God. I can see how self centered I really was even when I was serving on boards and doing things for the church and community. I can see that God did use me for His work, but He could have used me more had I been communicating with Him on a daily basis and had a heart and mind for His work and not for my own edification. I cannot change the past, so I must leave it in God's hands to redeem and trust Him to use me (past included) for His plan for today. I don't know how you do it, Father, but thank you for redeeming the past so that I can live for you today. I am blessed.

Wednesday, May 26

Hit the road for Nowata, Vinita and Grove today. Took care of tickets and visited the managers and associates. All pretty good. Stopped at Madden and McMain Cemeteries and took headstone photos. Ate leftover tortilla soup. Was pretty good. Got back in time to go back to the office and open and close tickets for the day. Terri and I to Novaks for the choir party. Terri setup the chocolate fountains for the party. We got to visit with my folks quite a bit. Good time. Home to rest, watch TV, work on laptop and then to bed.

Wednesday, May 26, Reputation

I am so thankful that God has changed me over the past few years. He has a lot to do with me yet, but He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me. If I do my part by trusting in Him, daily communication with Him, believing on Him, and living for Him, then He will work a change in my life that others will see. My selfish desires destroyed my reputation many years ago, but God is redeeming the past. Thank you Father that I can change through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Tuesday, May 25

Busy busy day. Still working on some bizarre problems. Got to go to Vinita tomorrow. Home for lunch. Had leftover papa Murphy's pizza and a strawberry banana milkshake. YUM. Back to work. Finally got one issue resolved. Home to change, then to Nathan's for a Pampered Chef party. Bought some good stuff plus got Meg's birthday present. Then home to rest and to bed.

Tuesday, May 25, Honesty

We often think of honesty in the context of business dealings and the scriptures today point that direction. Honesty in relationships is also important. Being completely open with my spouse and children helps keep me honest with them. When I was into pornography on the internet, I had my computer monitors setup so they could not see it and everything was password protected. Now that I have cleaned up my act with the help of God, I have everything setup so any of them can see what I am doing at anytime and the only necessary passwords are open to them. It not only helps me be accountable to my family, but helps me resist temptation. When I am honest with myself, my family and God, He is able to help me stay honest.

Monday, May 24

Busy day. Lots to do. Odd stuff and had to go to Level 2 and server team. Moved some people around today. Went home for lunch of sandwich and ice cream. Went to Copan to look at pontoon boat. Too rough for the money. Lots of wood rot. Would cost too much to bring it up to what we want. Will keep looking. Took Terri to Copan truck stop for burger and onion rings. I had a steak sandwich. Was very good. Ate too much and then snacked at home. Bad night with indigestion and had to do the Alka Seltzer thing in the middle of the night. I have got to lose weight or I am afraid it is going to kill me.

Monday, May 24, Theft

Having served in law enforcement for many years, I have seen the results of thievery. It is not a good thing. I can not stand a thief. Someone who steals what someone else has worked hard to obtain just sets me off. However, Satan is so subtle. I can very easily be caught up in theft in so many other ways. Stealing time from the boss and from God or even from my family in selfish endeavors. The scripture is very plain that stealing the little things is as bad as stealing physical things. It is so easy to justify it and Satan makes it sound so innocent. Father, help me to clearly see the lies of Satan and to never fall into the trap of theft.

Sunday, May 23, Laziness

Oh man. Two of my problems two days in a row. I am lazy. By admitting it to myself, I have been able to over come it for the most part, but it is a daily battle. In this day and age of computers and TV, it is so easy to just sit down and not do anything that is worth while. Satan has a hey day with me over it. I am constantly battling over my daily routine. In my younger years I became involved with too many good things thinking this would counter my tendency toward laziness. My motives were not correct and it cost me in burn out and falling into sin. Kind of a reverse laziness I guess. Then, at times, I fall into the sin of pride over my ability to work hard and do a good job. An interesting battle we have here, to say the least. Father. Without you I am going to fail. I will be come angry, lazy and prideful. Be with me daily, guide me, and fill me with your spirit so that I will bring honor and glory to you.

Saturday, May 23, Anger

I have an anger problem. It has cost me dearly over the years. I actually broke my hand in a fit of anger a number of years ago. Pretty stupid, but uncontrolled anger gets one into trouble and is with out a doubt sin. Anger almost cost me my job at one point in my life and I sought professional counseling to help me learn to control it. While some of the issue at that time turned out to be a side affect of diabetes, it was still something I needed to learn to control. With the counseling and daily devotional study, I turned my life back over to Christ and He has helped me immensely over the past few years. My wife and kids have noticed a difference. I can still feel it boiling up at times, especially when I miss my daily devotional. God is faithful, but I must do my part by placing myself in His hands daily and avoiding those things that trigger my anger the most.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, May 21, 22, 23

Friday was busy. No call from Dr office about surgery. Went to Mom n Dad's for supper with Shirley, Gordy and Stephanie. Ron, Ryan, Bryanna and Kaitlyn were there. Had a great time visiting and playing with the little one. Krystyn had a fever so she and Tammy stayed home. Terri and I to Copan to fish after supper. Nothing.

Saturday, slept later than normal but got up and went to Copan. Mike was there fishing. Had caught a couple crappie. I caught a double double. Two sand bass at a time twice. Pretty fun. He didn't feel too good so left them with me. I caught a couple blue cats and fought some gar. Gave the fish away and went home to rest. Terri and I cleaned the patio up, got over heated, took a nap and went back up to Copan. Caught some gar again and some trash fish, but no crappie. Home to bed.

Sunday, Mike texted me at 450am he was going to Copan at 530. Said I would meet him there as I needed to leave by 730. Caught gar and sand bass but no crappie. Pretty disappointing. Headed home at 715, called Terri to get up at 730. To church. Last choir song until Fall. Went real well. Great song. Dad and Mom not there. They were home fighting colds. Went to Walmart after church, home to eat a skillet meal, then to rest. Just too hot already. Worked on my cat rods. Mike loaned me a big one. Got them ready for cat fishing. To Papa Murphy's for a couple pizzas, Taco and Rancher, to take to Terri's mom's. Ate supper and the Pizza's were very good. Mike and I to Copan. I caught one Sand bass. Mike caught several drum, Sand Bass, and one crappie. Just not getting the crappie to hit. Allyson and Nathan were back from their visit to Topeka. Visited a bit, then Terri and I home to rest and to bed.

Friday, May 21, Pride

I agree with the devo today, that pride in my children, my spouse, or a job well done, is healthy. But it can turn into sin if I take credit for any of it. God is the giver of all things and any accomplishment is really because He has used me to do it. When He uses me to do something, I can be proud that He has done it through me, yet I must take care that I don't turn it into self pride. Even though I am rather shy and quiet, I tend to want attention, so it can be tough to keep quiet about something God has done through me or is using me for. Complicated yet simple. Give God the glory whenever I can and whenever it is appropriate.

Thursday, May 20

Another busy day. grabbed a bite to eat at McD, picked Terri up at 1pm and we headed to Tulsa to Dr B. He explained the problems with my knee, meniscus tear and shoulder, bursitis inflammation due to spurs and we set a game plan. Surgery for both. Will do the knee first and the nurse will call me tomorrow with the schedule. Hopefully on a Friday and soon. Knee giving me more and more trouble. Shoulder will be done after the knee heals enough I don't need crutches. Shared fajitas at Monterrey, then home. Worked on my fishing stuff, watched TV and to bed. Terri baked a cake for dinner tomorrow evening at my folks with sister and family.

Thursday, May 20, Pride

Pride comes at me in different ways. It has cost me in the past when I thought I was better than I really was. Pretty painful lesson and it not only affected me but my family. I sometimes get a feeling that I have been left out when I should have been included. This is pride. I have to turn this feeling over to God. Sometimes pride makes me feel that I need to be involved in a lot of different activities and this can lead to burn out or overload. It affects me and my family again. Pride and Motive go hand in hand. Why do I do what I do? For the attention? For God? For others? For myself? Father, help me to daily turn to you for guidance in my thoughts and activities so that I will bring honor and glory to you and not to myself.

Wednesday, May 19

Busy day. Boss was up and we worked on a project together. Terri went with us to Murphy's. He likes it a lot. Went to Caney in the afternoon. Home to rest a bit, then to supper at the church. BBQ and then to choir practice. One song for Sunday. Party next Wednesday. Home to rest and watch the bad weather erupting around the state. We had some pretty heavy rain. Worried about Meg n Brad as it was bad around them. Mike was stuck in Downtown Tulsa. Assume he made it home sometime. Will see damage reports in the morning on the news. I go to Dr Bazih tomorrow. Will set a game plan for my knee and shoulder repairs.

Wednesday, May 19, Motives

Having pure motives is an area of temptation for me. I have a tendency to barter with God and I know that is sin. When that thought comes into my mind, I confess it and ask God to help me have pure motives. My daily scripture is Psalms 139: 23 and 24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Daily devotionals, reading His Word, and Praying for others, helps my motives to be on the right track.

Tuesday, May 18

Busy day at work. Ate at Taco Village with my sweetie. YUM. Back to the office. Left at 4pm and headed to the lake. Fished below the dam again. Caught 5' gar broke the line. big fish and a great fight. Was so fun. Caught a couple more 3-4' ones. broke line or shook the hook. What fighters. Caught and kept (gave away) a nice hybrid. Nathan and Allyson came up and she caught a nice lb or so channel cat (might of been a dark variation of a blue). Had fun though. They brought me fried fish to eat. was so good. home to rest and to bed. Terri mowed the yard. upset me that she did it while I went fishing. sigh.

Tuesday, May 18, Motives

Wow. What a good devo. I have to constantly question my motives when I do something. I tend to look for what I can get out of something or how it is good for me. Why do I pay tithe, give to missions, attend church, volunteer for things? Do I do them for the attention I would get? Or do I do them for Him? A very good point. Father, constantly check my motives, so that I do what I do for you and not for my own edification.

Monday, May 17

Very busy Monday. Lots to do in preparation for an upcoming project. Got to getrdone. Some stress added at the end of the work day, but prayer, God's strength, My lovely wife's support, and her sending me on a stress relief fishing trip helped me get through it. Caught several Sand Bass and it was great to watch those poles bend double when hit. Got a small Blue Cat and released it. Caught a gar but it dropped off, then caught about a 2 1/2' one that broke my 6lb test line. Was a nice battle though. Then, my Cat pole bout went over the fence. Grabbed it and set the hook. Wouldn't budge. Gave it line and it stayed tight. Let it set about 20 min, then tried to bring it in. 50lb test broke. Will always wonder what hit that thing. Could have been a nice one that got into the rocks or a tree. Who knows what is down there below the dam. Anyway was a nice stress reliever for the day. Thanks to my sweetie.

Monday, May 17, Thoughts

As I stated in some of my other posts, my choices in the past have set my thought life up for temptation. What I have fed my mind with in the past has affected my present life. Now I must be careful of my daily choices and work to fill my mind with the things that God would want me to think on. I can tell when I haven't had time to read the word and spend time with God in prayer. My defenses are weakened.

Sunday, May 16, Thoughts

My mind is my own worst enemy. Most temptation comes through my thoughts. These are fed by my past choices and actions. I can see clearly how the path I have taken over the years has opened up opportunities for Satan to tempt me. God is being faithful in helping me redeem the years, but it is up to me to make the choice to spend time in His Word and in communication with Him to fill my mind with fresh thoughts. I cannot change my past, but I can change my future by filling my mind with God's Word and by worshiping Him in everything I do.

Saturday, May 15, Recovery

What a great God we have. He promises to accept my repentance and take me back into His presence after I have chosen to turn away. His word gives me guidance and His Spirit gives me strength, not only to resist temptation, but to come to Him in repentance.

Friday, May 14, Resistance

Part of resistance is preparation. I must decide in my mind and heart that I do not want to yield to temptation. Making that mental decision helps keep me from being blindsided by Satan. Preparation for possible problems is a part of training in my job. When I am prepared, I can handle issues in a much better way. In the same way, by reading God's word on a daily basis and communicating with the Father, I prepare myself for anything that Satan might bring my way. This past week I have not gotten up and had my devotions every day like I want. I was tired and my resistance was low. Satan blindsided me and I failed. Thankfully, my Father is quick to forgive and I am working on making changes so that I can get back into my daily routine.

Thursday, May 13, Escape

What a great promise from God. Satan cannot make me sin and God will always provide a way out when temptation comes. However, this puts the responsibility directly on me to make the decision to yield or turn away. This is a part of God's magnificent plan of free will. He gives me the right to choose my path. When I choose to resist temptation, He gives me strength to succeed in turning away from it. My daily communication with Him, helps build up my resistance to temptation. Father, forgive me when I allow my weaknesses to turn me away from you. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that is always there willing to help me resist and flee from temptation.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, May 12 - 15

Been busy and tired. Not getting up like I want to. Frustrating cause it has been a good thing over the past couple of years. Need to go to bed earlier and stop eating so much. Weight going up. Got to stop. Can't remember much of the past few days. Wednesday, choir practice was short. Got home and mowed yard. Thursday we got the boy. He, Nana and Ally went to Mema's and Nathan and I went fishing in a private pond. Caught some fun dinks. Mostly bass, one crappie and some bluegill. Friday I left for Fort Smith, AR., for the AD conversion. Worked until 1am. Saturday up for a great breakfast at the hotel, then out to the branches to work some more. Finished up and headed for hom around 5pm. Got home around 8pm and enjoyed supper and the company of my sweetie. Getting where I don't like being away from home much. Rested and to bed.

Wednesday, May 12, Temptation

I know temptation is allowed to come to help me become strong, but I wish it would just leave me alone. Most of my temptations come through avenues that I have opened up in the past. Satan knows I like those things and constantly throws them at me. It takes being in the word daily and constant communication with God to overcome them. His promises are a good shield against them. Our loose society doesn't help, but it really doesn't matter. It is my choice to entertain or reject temptation when it comes. Father, help me to hold on to your promises and trust in you. Help me to accept your help in resisting temptation.

Tuesday, May 11

Up and to work. Ate at Murphy's for lunch. Was going to see if Vic could work on the truck for me, but he has retired. Guess I will take it to the Chevy dealer. Visited with Dad a bit when he came by. Mariner wouldn't start after going to get Terri. Jerry gave us a jump. Will take it to the dealer tomorrow to get it worked on. Probably the battery as it looks like the original. 5 years isn't too bad. Mazzio's salad and buffet for supper, then home to rest and to bed.

Tuesday, May 11, Temptation

Temptations come every day and I never know what it will be. One of the things I have learned over the years is that through my past rebellion, I have created avenues of temptation that Satan uses against me on a frequent basis. Since he knows I have weaknesses in certain areas, he throws those at me. Thankfully God has promised we can not be overcome by temptation. We always have a way out. It is my choice to turn away or not. The more I refuse to yield to temptation the stronger I become. Yet, I must be careful that I do not allow pride in my strength become a temptation in itself. Satan is so sneaky. God, on the other hand, is up front and open in His promise to be there for me. Thank you, Father, for being with me on a daily basis.

Monday, May 10

Busy day at work. Home for lunch and ate left overs and visited with Allyson, then back to work installing a new printer. Home from work watching the weather. Tornado outbreak all over Oklahoma but we were spared the bad stuff. Got good rain. To bed.

Monday, May 10, Words

Words hurt or encourage. I often react to others based on the words they say to me but am I interpreting them correctly? I must balance my sensitivity with common sense and not react until proper time has been given for evaluation and interpretation. In all probability, a negative reaction is not necessary at all. Over the past few years, I have been trying, with God's help and direction, to be careful what I say to others so that they feel uplifted by what I say. I often hear critical words spoken about others and it leaves me with a negative feeling. This day and age of email and texting has removed facial expression, emotion, and body language from our daily communication and misinterpreting words is very easy. God has been helping me to contain my words, but I still struggle in this area. I want to leave people with a good feeling when I talk to them. Father, help me by your Spirit, to say what you would want me to say in every situation.

Sunday, May 9

Got up late 845 and couldn't make early service and choir so went to 1020 and sat with the kids. Good service and message. Met Mom and Dad at Golden Corral. Long line and they were near the front. As we got closer the cash register computers went down and we had to wait about 20 minutes for that to get fixed. In the meantime tables were clearing out so was not a bad thing really. Enjoyed a time of visiting and eating. Ate too much though. Home to change and rest. Mike took Mom Grant to the lake on the boat and she caught fish. Sat in the back seat and would swing the fish to Mike on the front and he would take them off for her. She caught several really nice ones. Over to Mom Grants for cookout of hotdogs and hamburgers. Was so good but I ate too much again. Visited and watched TV then home to a miserable night. Got to use discipline in my eating. Just can't seem to control it. Was a good day though.

Sunday, May 9, Confession

I have always felt better when I have confessed to something I did wrong. There is a saying that says "Confession is good for the soul.". I don't know if that is biblical or not, but it is true. Guilt weighs pretty heavy on a person. For me, I have to admit that I did something, then truly be sorry for doing it and then confess it, whether it be to God or another person. Probably the hardest part of confession for me is admitting I was wrong. I can be a bid hard headed. Part of confession for me is becoming humble and recognize my wrong. Can be tough. Thankfully God's word and Spirit work for me constantly to help correct me when I step aside. Father keep me humble in spirit and mind so that I will quickly recognize the need to confess a wrong, keeping me close to you.

Saturday, May 8

845am Terri and her mom head to Tulsa to get Meg, then over to Stillwell for the strawberry festival. Had a good trip except for getting lost a couple of times. Porta potties were full and no TP, crowd was huge and mostly Hispanics and Indians, food was not fresh, but strawberries were good. Bought a flat and split it. Gave some to Meg for them. Terri home and bought stuff to make freezer jam. YUM. I got home in time to help her. Mike and I to the lake. water was rough. I had set the minnows behind the seats and when we hit the rough waves, lost the bucket. I dived for it and got it but lost most of the minnows. My hat with my flip down magnifier went bye bye too. Never saw it. Waves were bad. Dropped a couple of brush piles and caught 21 crappie. Home around 230 to do some needed errands and yard work. Mike to do his and me home to mow the yard and fix the pool pump/filter hose. Got a truck radiator hose for $40. Couldn't believe it was so expensive. Not sure it will hold up but can't find reinforced hose at the pool places. oh well. we shall see. Mike texted he was ready when I was. Loaded up the minnows and headed over there. Back to the lake and the wind was pretty much gone. Waves were pretty calm. Very nice evening. Fished a couple of spots and pulled in some nice crappie. Got 5 more. Home and put the fish on ice. Mike will clean them in the morning. Home to help Terri make strawberry freezer jam. Mom and Terri had stopped by Bass Pro Shop in Tulsa and bought me a replacement magnifier. $22. Couldn't believe it was that expensive. Will take much better care to not lose this one..bummer. They ate at Los Cabos and brought left overs home. I ate Terri's and Mom told Terri Mike ate hers. Good day.

Saturday, May 8, Empowerment

What a promise. If I desire to obey Him, He will empower me to be able to do so. All I have to do is my best to follow His instruction. Again, this emphasizes how important it is to read the Word daily and spend quiet time with the Father. How can He help me if I don't communicate with Him. Father turn my desire to obey you into action.

Friday, May 7

Quiet day. Ate lunch at Senior Salsa and supper at Dinks. Nathan and I went to Post Oak to Cat Fish. Lots of nibbles but no hits. Was a beautiful evening. Home to bed.

Friday, May 7, Obedience

Simple obedience is all God requires of us. Pretty easy, but I tend to make it complicated by following my own way far too often. It isn't that I don't want to obey God, but I just want my own way. How do I correct this behavior? By spending daily time in God's word and in communication with Him. Without my daily time, I open myself up to selfish desires and lose my focus on God for the day. This leads to my failing to hearing His voice guiding me in every situation. I expect obedience from my children and grand children. Why is it so hard for me to obey God. Father, help me to start the day by being obedient and reading your Word and communicating openly with you.

Thursday, May 6

Busy day. Picked up meds, picked up xray, headed to Tulsa to see Dr Bazih. Xrayed my shoulder and hand. Checked shoulder, knee and hand. He feels that I have torn cartilage in shoulder and knee and is ordering MRI. Waiting on that word now. Met boss and team for lunch and short meeting on the coming conversions. Going to be busy this summer, fall and winter. Texted Mike to see if he was in the office but he was out. Came home. Terri picked up the boy and we had supper and went to see Mema. Terri took him to get something for Bec for Mother's day and he made a paper card for his momma while at Mema's. Home to rest, but picked up some leaves and stuff for trash day, then in to rest. Got TC's work # for a friend to call about his carpel tunnel. To bed.

Wednesday, May 5

I haven't been posting my blog lately. Too tired or lazy. Anyway, yesterday was pretty quiet. Took care of a couple routine issues for people and worked on some hardware. Took Terri to sonic for lunch. Got the truck serviced and it needs tires and brakes. Not good news but knew it was coming anyway. We had taco salad at church. Mike texted me to go fishing but have choir. Pastor Loren practiced a couple songs and let us go by 715. Terri ran me up to the lake and Mike and Nathan picked me up. Caught a really nice crappie but as it broke the surface it waved bye bye and was gone. bummer. Home to rest and to bed.

Thursday, May 6, Communication

Do I listen to God speak to me? I get so caught up in talking to Him, I sometimes forget to just shut up and listen. When reading His word, I must pay attention to the words and not just read. It is often hard to keep an open mind and heart so that He can talk to me. A recent situation. I was praying about a purchase and asked God to show me the right way to go. As I worked, part of my mind was searching for the answer and He gave it very clearly and the decision was made with no question and with peace of mind. Pretty awesome. I wish all the answers came that way.

Wednesday, May 5, Routine

I follow a simple acronym for guidance. ACTS. A for Adoration, C for Confession, T for Thanksgiving, and S for Supplication. ACT seem to be a small part at times when S is the bulk of my prayer time. Regardless, I feel that God honors my routine as I spend time communicating with Him and that is what He wants. Satan sometimes defeats me by telling me that it is routine and ritualistic and God isn't there, but I know better because of His Word and promises. Father, help me to communicate with you, not only at a specific time each day, but through out the day as life comes my way.

Tuesday, May 4, Communication

Communication with God is a struggle for me. I make it that way because I listen to outside influences. Satan tells me that God is too big to listen to little ole me and tradition tells me that I must talk to God in certain ways, many of which conflict with each other. I must kneel at an alter. An alter must be a bench, chair, quiet place, be alone with God, and on and on and on. I get caught up in the rules and my communication with God doesn't happen. The devo today simply tells me to be humble before God and trust in His goodness and love for me. Father, help me to daily humble myself before you and talk to you about your plan for my day.

Monday, May 3, Answers

I struggle with prayer, but I struggle more with expected answers. I know what I want to see happen and/or receive, but is that what God wants for me. I know He answers prayer, but part of my struggle is "will He answer my prayer". The answer is Yes He will, but I have to mentally take hold of that promise and accept it. Then I have to mentally grasp that God will answer in the way that is best for me. I appreciate the attitude of the three Hebrew men. They were confident that God could save them from the fire, but if not, they would still serve Him and accept His answer. What faith. Father, give me the attitude that regardless of your answers to my prayers, I will serve you.

Saturday, May 1,

We did go to DQ last night for a small blizzard treat. We shared it. Last day of traveling and heading home. Quick breakfast of cereal and bagel with juice. Rested pretty good. Short episode of breathing issues, but meds worked quick and was able to get back to sleep. Saw a few more antelope, a Jack Rabbit, more pheasants and some turkey traveling through Kansas. Called Shirley and Gordy and met them for lunch at Wendy's. Short but good visit with them. Steph was there too. Always good to see them. Got home around 530pm. Terri was so happy to see her new dining room floor. I arranged for a contractor friend to tile it while we were gone. Allyson did an awesome job of cleaning the house and it was a huge job she did extremely well. Very proud of her. We took her and Nathan to the Copan truck stop for supper and had a good visit. Got everything unpacked and put away. Cinnamon had disappeared on Friday and showed up at the SPCA Saturday morning, so had to get her out of jail..LOL. Good vacation but glad to be home.

Sunday, May 2, Listening

We were gone on vacation this past week and one of our pet dogs disappeared. While just an animal, she is kind of a family member and is our responsibility. We could do nothing since we were out of town. It was rather stressful thinking about all the things that can happen to a small dog out in the cold cruel world. They are pretty defenseless. I told God she was just a dog, but was one of his creatures placed in my care. I could do nothing from where I was at. I asked Him to take care of her for me. Short story shorter, we got her back safe and sound. I struggled with leaving her in God's hands, but kept telling myself that God cares for even the little things in our lives and He does. Thank you Father for showing me in this life episode that you do listen and answer our prayers.

Saturday, May 1, Prayer

I struggle with prayer. I know it is how I communicate with God, but I struggle with keeping it an open and personal conversation with him. I tend to be ritualistic and follow a set routine. This makes my prayer life become dull and unemotional. I talk to God all day long so that part of my communication is fine, but how do I take my daily devotional time and make prayer a real time of communication with the Father. The scripture is pretty plain and simple. All we have to do is ask within His will and He will answer. Father, guide me through your Word to deeper more meaningful times of communication with you.