Sunday, February 28, Forgiving

I struggle with taking things personally. Part of that is my personality and I must work on it with God's help. Part is that I find it hard to forgive myself. When I can not forgive myself, it is hard to forgive others. I need to lighten up, get over it and get on with life. People are more important than petty feelings. God forgave me no questions asked. I can do no less. Father help me in forgiving myself and others.

Saturday, February 27

Breakfast with Rob. Enjoyed the time together. Home to work on finances and taxes. Bout got Allyson's done and made good progress on ours. Terri dragged me off to Pawhuska lake to fish for trout. LOL Lost two countdown lures in 30 minutes. Nothing. discouraged. Mentally defeated me when I lost the lures. Came home and watched tv with Terri. Oh. I fixed vegetable soup for lunch after Terri got home from the library and shopping. Pretty good stuff. sure like my new cutting board and knife. For supper fixed the left over Papa Murphy's stuffed pizza. Was ok, but I ate too much and was too full. Went to bed.

Saturday, February 27, Confession

I had to recognize my own sin, with the help of God and Friends, before confessing it. In my rebellion, I was refusing to recognize that my choices were separating me from God, family and friends. Once I acknowledged and confessed my sin(s), this restored my relationship with God, and began a healing process of my mind, spirit and body. The healing of relationships takes a very long time, especially when there is emotional hurt involved. My rebellious choices have brought consequences that I must live with, but thanks be to God, He forgave when I confessed my sin.

Friday, February 26

Spent most of the day in Dewey. about got that branch's tickets wrapped up. Still pretty busy and that is ok. Met Ally and Terri at half dollar for lunch. catfish dinner. was ok, but think I will just get a good old burger next time. or maybe not..picked up papa murphy stuffed pizza for supper and took it to Terri's mom's. Baked up beautifully. Was so very good. Mom had fixed a salad to go with it. YUM. Home to a warm fire and rest, discussed vacation some more and then to bed. Oh, and visited Carl's and picked up some chartreuse grub flip tail and 1/8 oz jig heads. Meeting Rob in the morning for breakfast.

Friday, February 26, Suffering

God is in charge of Natural laws. He created them. I have made choices that have brought loss in my life. God has forgiven me and I trust Him in that. God has blessed me beyond anything I have ever deserved, yet the losses from my past are still there. I have to choose to trust His forgiveness and go on. Choices bring consequences, and while I still may suffer from those natural consequences, I can rest assured that God is not punishing me, but is walking with me to give strength and develop my life in Him. Hebrews 8:12 and again in 10:17 "...and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." God makes a choice on my behalf to forget my sins. He is more interested in helping me develop my Christian life. Thank you Father for your love and forgiveness. Help me to forgive myself.

Thursday, February 25

another busy day. Took Terri to eye Dr. Has an infection so is now on antibiotics. Got to get this nipped quick. I went to Vinita after lunch. Called and got Nathan, John and I locked in for the crappie tournament on March 13. Looking forward to my first fishing tournament. Nathan and Allyson ate supper with us. Had beanie weenies. The boy was to stay all night, but he was sick, so missed our Thursday evening with him. Visited with the kids a while, then they left. We talked about our vacation. Can't wait.

Thursday, February 25, Suffering

I don't suffer well. I like my comfort. I think of those who are really suffering. Some for their faith in Christ, but others because of cancer or other illnesses. My little sufferings seem as nothing. If God protected me from all suffering, I am afraid I would be a weak, selfish, spoiled person. His word says that when I endure suffering, it develops character, strength, and reliance on Him. When my Faith is in Him, then I can live without fear of suffering. This world and all that is in it is temporary and I hold to the Word that tells me I can endure any thing that comes my way. He has a better place for me.

Then I think of how Christ suffered for me and am humbled and have to repent for my complaining about my little suffering. He has been and is so good to me. Thank you Father for being with me.

Wednesday, February 24

Good day. Got a lot done. Went to Caney and took care of several issues there. Nathan met us at church for a hamburger supper, then to choir practice. Got to stop eating before practice. Can't sing well...sigh. Then home to rest. Visited with pastor LT about helping with the church website. Looking it over to see what I might be able to do. We will see.

Also, fell today at Caney. Just missed getting my foot up high enough and put myself down. Almost made it 2 months this year..Not a good thing but nothing broken. just bruised a bit.

Wednesday, February 24, Distress

What is distress or trouble in my life? Physical issues, mental issues, family issues, job issues...all can and have been or are distress or trouble areas in my life. I have yelled at God. Probably not the best way to communicate with Him, but He heard me and gave me peace. He is in control and I must make the choice to let Him handle everything in my life. I find that when I try to take control of situations, my stress level goes up. I like today's scripture. Psalm 91:15 "When they call on me, I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them."
Thank you Father for being in charge. Help me bring everything in my life to you and to quit trying to do it myself.

Tuesday, February 23

Another busy day. Seems to be the norm lately. Took Rosie her Angel Food box, then home to home made soup and a nice warm fire in the sun room. Planning our vacation. Ready to go now..

Tuesday, February 23, Suffering

One of Satan's tools against me is the subject of suffering. In my opinion, suffering is something I don't endure for Christ. I live in America the land of plenty. I have so much and just live day to day in the blissful ignorance of what true suffering is. I see others who are ill, injured or abused, but this is just a part of life and while I believe this is suffering, it isn't suffering because of the name of Jesus.

I believe there are two kinds of suffering that God has promised to help me through.

The first is the daily suffering of having to live in an imperfect world full of strife, sickness, and sometimes pain. It is a part of this old world I live in. While, God can and does keep me from some of this, it is part of life. Sometimes I bring this type of suffering on myself by my actions and sometimes it just happens. Again, this is an imperfect world full of all kind of imperfection. It gives me incentive to live for Jesus so I can go to Heaven and be with Him in a perfect place. He has promised to be with me through this kind of suffering.

Then there is the 2nd type of suffering. The suffering of the followers of Jesus who are suffering because of their faith in Christ. Some of this occurs here in my country and surroundings, but not like in other countries where people are dying for their faith. I am humbled to think that God put me in the land of plenty and freedom. I must stand firm in my faith and lift my brothers and sisters who are suffering for their faith. God sees the suffering of His people counting each tear. Do I shed enough tears for Jesus.

Monday, February 22

Wow. This was a MONDAY for sure. Terri was in Nowata, then had a meeting in Bartlesville. We managed to sneak a lunch in together between. I took care of a couple issues at the Tower then went to Dewey. I was there all day. Got a lot done. Still have a lot to do. Met Ron and Tammy and girls at Golden Corral for supper. Had a good time. Enjoyed our time with them. Have to say we have three beautiful grand daughters. Krystyn is growing up so fast. Bryanna was so entertaining talking and just being a cutie. Kaitlyn was a good baby and so cute. Was a good time together. Home to rest and visit with Allyson. then to bed.

Monday, February 22, God's Nearness

When I don't feel God is near, Satan hammers me with thoughts that God is gone or that I have failed in some way and drawn away from Him. My faith in God is strengthened by my daily reading of His Word which tells me the truth. God will never leave me nor forsake me. So, when I do not feel His nearness, I check my actions and attitudes to make sure I am following His Word, then just Trust Him. It is much easier when I have spent my daily time with Him.

Sunday, February, 21

Up and to Church. Choir had a tough but wonderful song, but we did it. Thank you Lord for helping us sing your praises. Pastor preached 2nd sermon on Love. You can hear it on the church website and I encourage anyone to do so. Good stuff. Picked up Mom Grant from church and took her home. Mike had cleaned the 63 fish (TC took 30) and needed some more freezer bags so got some for him. Helped him clean up and get ready to head back to Texas. We couldn't get the boat backed into the car port. just too muddy and tight so he is taking it back with him. Went home and had BBQ crock pot chicken, mashed potatos and creamed corn. YUM. Mike called and was stuck. Pulled him out with the mariner and he hit the road for home. Finished lunch and went to the office to work. Got a lot done. Terri and her mom went to the movies. I got home and fixed creamy chicken soup. Was very good. Rested the rest of the evening.

Sunday, February 21, God is distant

As I noted in yesterday's devotional, God does not move away from me. I have moved away from God. It is one of the reasons daily devotions are so important in my Christian life. Yesterday I did not read nor spend time in my daily devotions. I went fishing with my brother in law and his cousin. Did I fail and did God move away from me? No, though Satan tried to tell me so. I had an opportunity to be a Christian before these two good men. I felt God's presence in my life as I enjoyed the beauty and majesty of a small corner of this world He created. I could have listened to Satan and felt defeated or I could listen and remember God's word that He is with me always. My daily devotional life is not dependent upon an office in my home where I read the word, a devotional guide and have my prayer list. Nor is my relationship and the feeling that God is near dependent upon it. The feeling of God's presence is a choice I make to know Him no matter the routine. I also know that because I do spend daily time with Him alone, I can take opportunities to break the normal routine without losing His presence. He is so good to me. Thank you Father for always being there and thank you for forgiving me when I move away from you.

Saturday, February 20, Benefits of God's presence

God has promised to be by my side through out life. In the good times and the bad times. Sometimes I just don't feel Him near. I know He doesn't move away, so it is me and I must take the steps to get back into His presence. The word tells me that He has promised to be with me. I must choose to believe that promise and Trust Him to be with me. No matter what comes my way, He will be there. I don't have to worry about tomorrow and what might come. He will give me the strength and ability when needed. What a promise.

Thank you Father for being in my life.

Saturday, February 20

Up at 5am to meet Mike and TC. Left at 6:00 for Kaw lake. Temperature was 36 when we put in. Hit several good brush piles. Quite a few boats in the first area. Started catching crappie almost immediately. Good spot but got crowded. Moved off to find some other brush and hopefully catch some big crappie. Was so cold and I was under dressed. Bad clothing decisions on my part. Feet and hands were really cold. Anyway, we hit some good brush and caught around 150 crappie with 93 keepers. Most were under a pound though, so nothing to brag about. Left the lake at 6pm. Got to Mom's at 7:30. TC loaded up his fish and headed home and we ate supper and Terri and I went home. Finally getting warm again. Took hot shower and to bed.

Overall was a fun day. Will dress better next time.

Friday, February 19

Worked until noon, then went fishing with Mike up on the Caney River above Hulah. Zero fish. Water was like glass. Beautiful day. Back to the house by 5pm. Just wouldn't bite. Visited a while, then home to rest with my sweetie.

Friday, February 19, In God's Presence

Satan works hard to convince me that I am not worthy to be in God's presence, but the Word tells me otherwise. I must make the choice to read the word daily, believe the word, trust the word, then act like I am in God's presence. One way, I build the feeling that I am in God's presence is to listen to Christian music as part of my devotional time.

It is a bit difficult for my mind to focus on God if I start my day with Twisted Sister's "We're Not Going to Take it" or Jodie Mecinna singing "My Give A Damn Is Busted". But when I listen to the Gaither Vocal Band singing "Our God is an Awesome God" or Laverne Tripp singing "We've Got the Power", God comes in and fills me with His over flowing presence. Now that is the way to start the day.

Father, help me to daily focus on you so that I can not only know you are in my life, but I can feel you here. I pray others will see you in me. Thank you for calling Godly musicians who sing your praises.

Thursday, February 18

Busy day at work again. Got my sweetie a maple bar at QT for breakfast. Yum. I had one too and a breakfast burrito. Good start to the day. Got a lot of work done. Picked the boy up from daycare and enjoyed hotdog pizza for suppoer (pepperoni). Went to see Mema. Uncle Mike got in while we were there. (Terri's brother) from Dallas. Gave me a new rod and reel. I was kind of over whelmed. Got it spooled with 6lb and rigged with a chartreuse firecracker tube jig. Ready to go. Now for some good weather on an off work day. LOL. We rested. Terri watched TV and I did some computer stuff.

Thursday, February 18 Worship

Today's devotional has me thinking on who and what I truly worship. Exodus 34:14 says, "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:"

I have many interests that can take my time, money and energy. I love hunting for headstones in a cemetery, especially old forgotten ones. Genealogy is a passion and the use of computers integrates into both these pleasures. Last year I started fishing again and really really enjoy it.

Do these activities intrude on worship of my Heavenly Father?

Jesus, please convict me of anything, no matter how important or trivial, that would take the place of loving and worshipping the Father. Keep this thought before me daily that I might show your majesty to others I come in contact with.

Wednesday, February 17

Another good day. Sun was shining and actually felt a little warm for a change. Got a lot done at work. Ate at Goldies for lunch. Always a good time with my sweetie. Had beef stew at the church, then to choir practice. Was hard work but a really good practice. Only 6 more practices before the concert. Where does time go. Came home and relaxed for a while then to bed.

Wednesday, February 17. Contentment

How do I find contentment in life. Everything I run into these days seems to try and make me less content so I will buy something else that promises to make me content.

(1 Timothy 6:8) And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
(Hebrews 13:5) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

So, again, it is a choice I must make to be content.

What about when someone says or does something that upsets me and I find myself resenting them or their actions. Anger, bitterness, irritability, and complaining are often the sinful reactions I have. It is a constant stream battling for my life. So how can I be content when this happens.

By being honest with God about how I feel, forgiving those who have "wronged" me, and then concentrating on all the good gifts and things God has given me, I can overcome those sinful reactions.

Again, it is a choice I make. I must choose to be content in my life's circumstances no matter what they may be. God has promised to be with me no matter what comes my way. Father help me to be truly content so that others may see you in me and want the contentment only you can give.

Tuesday, February 16

Good day again. Got a lot done. Actually doing some proactive work and it is good. Daughter in law to ER with High blood pressure. Terri and I picked up mom and kept the girls until Ron and Tammy got back home. The family needs a lot of prayer. Planned to fix creamy chicken soup but was late so took Terri to Murphy's for a hamburger and fries. Then home to un wind and to bed.

Tuesday, February 16, Intimacy with God

In the past year or so I have, with God's help, been getting up and spending time in the Word and in prayer. One would think after all the years in the church, I would have figured this out a long time ago. Stubborn selfishness kept me from doing what God wanted me to do and that was get up, be quiet and commune with Him. It has been a good year and He has been faithful.

In Exodus 33:14 He says "I will personally go with you." What a promise. God cares about me and my life in a personal way.

The devotional today speaks of quality time and quantity time. It has become an important time in my daily routine to spend this time alone with God. I listen to inspirational music and chorus'. I read His word in both the new and old testament's to learn how to live each day. Then I have a prayer list to follow to be consistent, both in praising Him and bringing others before Him. Sometimes I have an hour and a half and sometimes a half an hour, but I try to spend it in communication with Him.

If I miss this time alone with God, it gives Satan a weapon of attack and frankly, I really feel the loss of that time.

Was it easy to start this routine? Of course not, but I finally just did it. If you have been thinking of starting a daily time alone with God, then just do it.

Monday, February 15

Wow. Monday all day. Very busy. Computers had me jumpin. I think I won though.. Had a great lunch with my sweetie. Taco Village Taco burgers and nacho's. yum. Hit wallyworld on the way home for ingredients for creamy chicken soup for Tuesday evening. yumm again. Get to use my new knife..look out fingers. bought some more fishing stuff on sale. 5 swim baits for $2 vs Bass Pro 6 swim baits for $6. Live and learn. Hope it warms up soon. Ready to catch some fish.
Had left over chili. for supper. Rested in the evening with my sweetie watching Olympics and working on Genealogy and pictures. It was a good day.

Monday, February 15, Intimacy with God

To be truly intimate with my wife I must know her, trust her, love her and share with her everything in my and our lives. If I hold back anything, it causes hurt, mistrust and then less sharing from her. Likewise, if I hold back things in my life from God, it blocks the path to intimacy with God. He wants to share the deepest things of my life. He wants a personal relationship with me. I must choose to open up, confess my sin, tell Him I want Him to be a part of my life. He wants me to talk to Him any time, any where, about anything. By doing this, He can fulfill His promise to be closer than a brother.

I struggle with the image of a personal God. I still mentally view God as a celestial being and not down here with me in my little world. Yet, I know He is with me. Father, help me to open up to you, to completely trust you and believe Your Word. I need You so much. Thank you for your promises.

Sunday, February 14

Happy Valentine's day. Gave Terri her new purse cover and chocolates. Loved it. She gave me a new chef's knife. Awesome. Can't wait to use it cooking.

Pastor's message on Love was good. We then went to Tulsa for lunch and a shopping spree at Bass Pro. Got several lures. Now for spring weather to try them out.

Rested at home, then took Terri to her mom's and I went to work putting computers back in place after new carpet was laid saturday. Then home to rest and bed.

Good day together.

Sunday, February 14 How can I show my love for God

All kind of ways to show my love for God come to mind, but the underlying message today is to choose to obey His Word. How do I do that? By following the two greatest commands in the Bible given by Jesus when asked about the commandments (THE LAW)...

(Matthew 22:37) Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.
(Matthew 22:39) Love your neighbor as yourself.

(John 14:15) If you love me, keep my commandments.
(John 15:10) When you obey me, you remain in my love....
(Micah 6:8) ...the Lord has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, to walk humbly with your God.

Choosing to ignore these simple commands and promises shows my lack of love for the Father and that I want my own way and that I think I know more than God. Now, because of my sinful nature, I will not always be obedient. But if I have a sincere desire to be obedient and I am quick to repent when I fail, this shows my love and respect for Him and that I believe what He wants for me is the best.

(Psalms 139: 23-24) Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This, again, is a choice I must make. God's plan of giving us free will is truly amazing.

Saturday, February 13

Got up early and had devotions. Picked up a log splitter and Terri, Dad and I split down 2 rick of wood so it would fit our stove in the sun room. This old desk jockey is sore now. Nathan picked me and the gear up and went fishing at a friend's 7 acre pond. No luck at all. Terri and I went to the Copan truck stop for supper for Valentines. Prime rib for me (shared with my sweetie) and she had chicken fried steak (shared with her sweetie...me). Got choked up in the car...it has to be the fried coating as that seems to be the one thing that does it to me. Rested and went to bed. Busy full day but got a lot done plus went fishing.

Friday, February 12

Indian tacos at the Dewey Indian church. Good food and good company. Meg and Brad came up and Mema went with us. Had a good time.

Saturday, February 13

How can I know God Loves me.
I have to believe in the Word of God, then Trust that Word to be true. Then, when I read scriptures like these...

(John 3:16) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoseover believeth in him should no perish, but have everlasting life.

(1 John 4:10) Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

This brings me back to making a choice. God has made the choice. He has made the provision for me. All I have to do is choose to accept it. Nothing can separate me from the Love of God, except my own choice not to accept it. How Great is our God. Father help me to believe and trust in Your great love and accept it for myself. Thank you Father.

Friday, February 12

Been a busy week at work. Getting a lot done though, so all good. Got the boy last evening and he stayed all night with Nana and Papa. Slept in his own bed all night. pretty good for an active 4 yr old. Enjoy him a lot. Hopefully the girls will all be well one of these days and we can start doing stuff with them on a regular basis.

Got to post this. Back on Jan 17, went to Kaw Lake over by Ponca City to view Bald Eagles. Took the wife and mother in law. Saw two bob cats at the entrance of Osage State Park. Pretty neat as I don't believe I have ever seen one in the wild. Was a good day. Sighted 24 birds and probably 21 different ones. Rangers had counted 117 the previous Monday. Fog pretty bad, but finally lifted and was a good day.

Going to be a busy weekend. Valentines day...Got it covered...

Tuesday, February 9

Boss was up and we did some branch visits. Saw pair of mature adult bald eagles on the way back to town. Pretty cool.